the gentle breath: who makes it safe for you to exhale?
“So…no luggage?” About half an hour into our ride, my Uber driver finally broke down and asked me about what had clearly been on his mind the entire trip. “I’ve never known anyone to go to the airport with no luggage,” he continued. Oh I’m going to pick someone up,” I replied. “I’m meeting my mom,” I said with an all-teeth grin. “Ah…of course.” he said, nodding in understanding.
For the rest of the trip, he and I chatted it up, talking about the similarities between West Indian and East Indian cultures. About the importance of family. About the importance of sacrifice. About the importance of community care. About the importance of investing in your loved ones, and showing up for those who have shown up for you.
And let me tell you, my mom has shown up for my sister and me in all the ways possible. She has poured into us, selflessly and generously. She delighted in us as children—and still does, now we’re grown. And at times when life felt precarious, she found ways to make us feel secure.
Physically and emotionally, she made it safe for us to exhale.
And now, my sister and I try to do the same for her. This time around, that looked like Sharon taking her to the airport and waiting with her until she went through security. It looked like me going to meet her at the airport so she would see a familiar face and know that she didn’t have to worry about anything.
As you know, I’m all about self care, but community care is equally as important. Love, as a verb, matters. Reciprocity matters. Curating, and tending to, your circle matters.
As the weekend comes to a close, think about the people in your life who make it safe for you to simply be—family, friends, chosen family—and send them a little thank you. A call, a text, a prayer. Let them know you’re grateful to them for blessing you with space to exhale.
Need more inspo? Get positive messages, meditations, and more when you read the book.
the sunday salutation
a prayer to bless your spirit
Grant us discernment as we select those with whom we navigate this journey
As we choose wisely, may we likewise be chosen
By those with
Good hearts, good minds, and good intentions
Who love us in ways we appreciate and understand
Asé
the gentle breath
relax and breathe easy. this is your exhalation point.
Safety and Support
Sit or lie down comfortably, and close your eyes. Inhale deeply and slowly through your nose for a count of 4, and exhale even more slowly though your mouth, for a count of 6.
Every time you breathe in, say to yourself: “I am supported.”
Every time you breathe out, say to yourself: “It is safe for me to exhale.”
Breathe in: “I am supported.”
Breathe out: “It is safe for me to exhale.”
Breathe in: “I am supported.”
Breathe out: “It is safe for me to exhale.”
Breathe in: “I am supported.”
Breathe out: “It is safe for me to exhale.”
Continue this for as long as you wish, and when you’re ready breathe normally and open your eyes.
mind your mental
make space for your self
Rest in Community
As a confirmed introvert, and someone who gets “peopled out” pretty quickly, one thing that I nevertheless know is true is that people need people. I need people. So do you. Human beings are wired for connection and thrive in community. Many of us are here today because someone loved us, supported us, encouraged us, prayed for us, or carried us through a difficult season.
Now I’m never going to want to hang out with a huge, random crowd of people, but I absolutely love being around my people. Just a few. My family. My bestie. My friends. And as someone with multiple mental health diagnoses, my experience has been that my mental health is better when I am around my folk. Connection heals me. When I’m with my circle, I thrive.
Last month was officially Mental Health Awareness Month, but I believe that we should focus on mental wellness all year long. So as we move into a new month (aka Mental Health Awareness Month: The Encore), I want to remind you that we can’t do life alone. Community care is mental health care. The western model of extreme individualism is broken. We've been conditioned to see independence as the goal, even when connection would serve us better. I personally believe that the focus on “thugging it out” and doing everything ourselves has put many of us in peril.
So I challenge you to see where you can incorporate more community into your life. If you’re an extrovert and you get your energy from being around people, make sure you’re getting enough people time to fill your cup. If, like me, you’re an introvert, and the thought of being around a bunch of people makes your eyeballs itch, then pick one person and hang out with them. And if you really don’t feel like talking, go to a park or someplace where you can be in the presence of other humans without actually having to interact with them. The important thing is to not isolate yourself. Connection may not solve everything, but it can remind us that we're not carrying life alone.
If this message resonated with you today, you'll find more reflections, practices, and gentle reminders inside Space To Exhale.
affirmation of the week
breathe these words in and carry them with you
I am worthy of having support, care, and connection
Introspection: Journal & Heal
Answer these questions:
Who are the people in your life that allow you to exhale?
How do you feel after spending time with them?
support for tired souls
If you have been feeling exhausted, dysregulated, and emotionally stretched thin, I’ve created a free resource for you: The 5-Minute Burnout Reset. It is not something else for you to add to your to-do list. Quite the opposite. It is simply a pause. It’s a gentle reset for your nervous system and your spirit. Ready to relax?
exhaling together
this week on the podcast
Have you ever had a truly horrible boss? I know I have. More than one.
This week on Space To Exhale: The Podcast, I am joined by my friend Mita Mallick, bestselling author of The Devil Emails at Midnight, for an honest conversation about the hidden cost of toxic leadership and the impact bad bosses can have on our mental health, wellbeing, and sense of self.
Together, we explore burnout, boundaries, workplace culture, and why it is never worth sacrificing your health in pursuit of success. If you have ever carried the stress of work home with you, questioned your worth because of a boss, or struggled to preserve your peace at work, this conversation is for you.
Join us live on Tuesday, June 9 at noon ET, or catch the replay on Spotify or YouTube.
soft life spotlight
a gentle invitation
one small ask
If Space To Exhale has supported you over the last year, I would be deeply grateful if you left a short review. Your words could help more overwhelmed, exhausted, and burned out people get the support they need. Even one or two sentences can make a difference. You can leave reviews on Amazon, or if that's not your thing, Goodreads and Barnes & Noble work great too. Thank you 🙏🏾
until next time…
Thank you for spending a few moments of your Sunday with me. This week, may you spend time with people who treat you tenderly; may you find spaces where you do not have to earn your belonging; may you remember that sometimes the deepest healing comes not from being alone, but from being deeply rooted in community.
Until next time, remember to make some time and space to exhale.
Sending love and light
Lisa 💚
Lisa Hurley
Author, Space To Exhale | Founder, The Great Exhale
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