are we there yet?
Remember asking that over and over as a child? And if you have children of your own, perhaps you've heard it a few hundred times yourself.
“Are we there yet?”
“Are we there yet?”
“Are we there yet?”
And all the while you’re thinking “"We're on our way. Can't you just enjoy the ride?"
The thing is, we often do this to ourselves. The bar keeps rising. The goal posts keep shifting. We find it hard to enjoy the journey, because we’re too hyper-focused on the destination. Worse yet, we keep changing the destination for ourselves so we never actually feel like we’ve arrived.
Let me give you an example.
When Space To Exhale was still in manuscript form, "there" looked like:
"I'll feel like I’ve gotten there when Wiley publishes my book."
Then Wiley published the book.
Then "there" became:
"I'll feel like I’ve gotten there when people actually buy it."
Then people bought it.
Then "there" became:
"I'll feel like I’ve gotten there when I win an award."
Then the book won awards.
You see where this is going.
This is how a builder’s mind works: Always blueprinting. Always constructing. Never pausing to admire what one has made. There is nothing wrong with having goals or being ambitious, but taken to an extreme, this mindset, to use the vernacular, can drive you nuts. It is soooo unhealthy.
It is great to have a plan for your future, but it is just as important to enjoy the present.
If this sounds like you; like how your mind works, I invite you this week to look at the facts. Look at what you have done, rather than at what you imagine has been left undone. Make a list of your wins. Big ones. Small ones. Even folding the laundry counts. (Trust me, some weeks that belongs on the list. And yes: I have absolutely folded the laundry, then gone back afterwards to add it to my to-do list just so I can check it off.😂)
Then spend a few moments appreciating how far you've come. Because while there may still be places you want to go, do not miss this truth: You are already standing in a future version of your life that an earlier version of you once dreamed about.
So be proud of where you are. Because newsflash: you are already “there.” 🙏🏾
Need more inspo? Get positive messages, meditations, and more when you read the book.
the sunday salutation
a prayer to bless your spirit
May I evolve in the direction of my innate ingenuity
Flourishing like a forest toward the sky
May I see and celebrate my strengths
May I see and celebrate my strengths
May I see and celebrate my strengths
Asé
the gentle breath
relax and breathe easy. this is your exhalation point.
Spinal Breath
Close Sit comfortably, with your back straight but not stiff. Breathe deeply and slowly through your nose, with your belly and chest rising as you inhale; your chest then belly falling as you exhale.
Bring your attention to the base of your spine.
Inhale deeply, imagining your breath moving up your spine all the way to the base of your skull.
Exhale slowly, visualizing your breath moving down your spine all the way to your tailbone.
Repeat this three more times:
Inhale, breath moves up your spine.
Exhale, breath moves down your spine.
Inhale, breath moves up your spine.
Exhale, breath moves down your spine.
Inhale, breath moves up your spine.
Exhale, breath moves down your spine.
Continue breathing like this for as long as you are comfortable, remembering not to rush or strain.
When you feel ready, return your breathing to its normal cadence, and slowly open your eyes.
mind your mental
make space for your self
As Mental Health Awareness Month draws to a close, let me leave you with this reminder: You do not have to carry it all.
Many of us are buckling under burdens that were never meant to be borne alone:
Responsibilities
Expectations
Deadlines
Emotional labor
The pressure to have all the answers
Somewhere along the way we learned that being strong meant handling everything ourselves. (It doesn't.) Some of us absorbed that lesson so completely that we began to wear exhaustion like a badge of honor and self-sacrifice like a crown.
But carrying everything yourself is not the only way to be strong.
Sometimes strength looks like asking for help. Sometimes it looks like delegating. Sometimes it looks like resting before you are completely depleted.
The goal in life is not to prove how much you can carry. The goal is to build a life where you do not have to carry everything alone.
If this resonates, you'll find more reflections on rest, boundaries, burnout recovery, and sustainable wellbeing throughout Space To Exhale.
affirmation of the week
breathe these words in and carry them with you
I am grateful for how far I’ve come
Introspection: Journal & Heal
Answer this question: “What am I carrying alone that I can get help with?”
support for tired souls
If you have been feeling exhausted, dysregulated, and emotionally stretched thin, I’ve created a free resource for you: The 5-Minute Burnout Reset. It is not something else for you to add to your to-do list. Quite the opposite. It is simply a pause. It’s a gentle reset for your nervous system and your spirit. Ready to relax?
exhaling together
this week on the podcast
Season 2 of Space To Exhale: The Podcast begins this Tuesday, and I cannot think of a better guest to help us start this next chapter than my big sister, Sharon Hurley Hall. ☺️💚
Together, we're talking about creating spaces where Black women can rest, reflect, reclaim themselves, and simply be.
Join us live on LinkedIn Tuesday, June 2 at noon ET, or catch the replay on Spotify or YouTube.
one small ask
If Space To Exhale has supported you over the last year, I would be deeply grateful if you left a short review. Your words could help more overwhelmed, exhausted, and burned out people get the support they need. Even one or two sentences can make a difference. You can leave reviews on Amazon, or if that's not your thing, Goodreads and Barnes & Noble work great too. Thank you 🙏🏾
until next time…
Thank you for spending a few moments of your day with me. Thanks for choosing to move through this world a little more gently. Take good care of your Self this week.💚 Rest when you need to. Ask for help when you need it. Put something down if it feels too heavy.
Until next time, remember to make some time and space to exhale.
Sending love and light
Lisa 💚
Lisa Hurley
Author, Space To Exhale | Founder, The Great Exhale
P.S. If you enjoyed this newsletter, share it with someone you think would love it too!
