the gentle breath: haven’t you done enough?
I Did a Thing, and The Things are Done
One thing I’ve learned as an author is that you and your book live in symbiosis: you write it, and then it forces you to consistently embody what you have written. I mean, I swear I used to take a lot of naps before writing this book, but now?? It feels like my whole life revolves around the question “When next can I rest?”
I’ve also become even more aware of my productivity levels, and how I judge myself in relation to them. The thing is (high-achievers, raise your hands), we tend to measure ourselves by our output while other people are measuring us by our impact. I am definitely guilty of this. (As I said in the book, I am not perfect; I, too, am on a healing journey.)
As someone who wears many hats, I see a long list of things to do, goals to achieve, projects to kick off, and ideas to bring to fruition, sometimes forgetting to take stock of what I’ve already accomplished. Meanwhile, some of the people closest to me, and some of the folks I’m in community with on social media, are bigging me up and telling me how proud they are of me.
Wednesday June 17 will be the one-year anniversary of Space To Exhale, and of course I still have big plans for it. However, the past year has taught me to look at how well it’s already done—and at how well I’ve done.
Starting with the fact that it is out in the world, a full toddler, traditionally published by Wiley, and has received more than ten awards and recognitions, including its most recent International Impact Book Award.
Continuing with the fact that I’m still here.
Because the truth is this: I did a thing—published a book—all while dealing with health issues, depression, recovering from surgery, managing ever-dwindling executive functioning capacity, balancing a full-time nine to five, and so much more. So for now I’m choosing to focus not on the Things to Do, but on the Things Done. I’m choosing to focus not on relentlessly doing more, but on consistently doing less. Every day I ask myself:
“Is this too much?”
“Is this necessary?”
“Can you stop now?”
“Does this add value?”
“Have you done enough?”
“Can this be more frictionless?”
Today, I am choosing to rest. Because the things are done. And even more importantly, I am done with the things. I am embodying what I wrote about in Space To Exhale: doing less so I can be more. I am choosing, wherever possible, to embrace ease and make things frictionless.
Need more inspo? Get positive messages, meditations, and more when you read the book.
the sunday salutation
a prayer to bless your spirit
Beloved
This is your invitation to a life gently lived
To a state of grace
To a return to self
To a slower pace
This is your invitation to practice the pause
To divest and rest
To be much more
To do much less
Beloved, this is your invitation to exhale
Asé
the gentle breath
relax and breathe easy. this is your exhalation point.
Box Breathing
Sit or lie down comfortably, and close your eyes. Breathe through your nose, becoming very aware of the breath gently entering and leaving your body with every inhale and exhale. Feel your abdomen rise as you inhale, and fall as you exhale. Start breathing in counts of four. Imagine that as you inhale, you’re tracing the four sides of a square.
Inhale: 1, 2, 3, 4
Hold: 1, 2, 3, 4
Exhale: 1, 2, 3, 4
Hold: 1, 2, 3, 4
Inhale: 1, 2, 3, 4
Hold: 1, 2, 3, 4
Exhale: 1, 2, 3, 4
Hold: 1, 2, 3, 4
Repeat this a few more times until you feel more relaxed, and when you’re ready breathe normally and open your eyes.
mind your mental
make space for your self
Not Everything Difficult is Necessary
“I love it when a plan comes together.”
I’ve always loved that famous line from The A Team. It made me smile, because I love it when a plan comes together too; when something that could have been difficult turns out to be surprisingly easy.
As a society, we have confused struggle with significance. As individuals, many of us are so used to struggle that we don’t know who we are without it. So, consciously or unconsciously, we seek it out. We see red flags and run toward them. We see chaos and embrace it like a long-lost friend. We call quiet spooky and calm boring. Sometimes, experiencing ease almost feels like a set up. We start looking for a catch, convinced that things could not possibly be this simple.
When the struggle bus is our usual form of transportation, we feel uncomfortable being chauffeured around in a smooth-ride limo. Many of us have been conditioned to think that if something is easy it’s somehow not valuable. I don’t believe that’s the case. Some of my greatest accomplishments and happiest memories happened when things just flowed.
The thing is, our nervous systems were never meant to live in survival mode twenty-four hours a day. Our minds are not designed to be in a constant state of overwhelm and worry. One of the best things you can do to protect your mental health is to seek ease. Always be asking: “Is there a simpler way to do this?”
Give your cortisol permission to calm down.
Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is choose the path of least resistance. Making things more frictionless is not about being lazy or taking shortcuts. It’s about removing unnecessary resistance and prioritizing your peace.
If this message resonated with you today, you'll find more reflections, practices, and gentle reminders inside Space To Exhale, including many more invitations to choose ease, preserve your peace, and create a life you don't have to recover from.
affirmation of the week
breathe these words in and carry them with you
repeat this 3 times to yourself
I am choosing ease instead of exhaustion
I am choosing ease instead of exhaustion
I am choosing ease instead of exhaustion
Introspection: Journal & Heal
Answer these questions:
How are you making life harder than it needs to be?
What is one small change you could make this week?
Where in your life could you make things more frictionless?
support for tired souls
If you have been feeling exhausted, dysregulated, and emotionally stretched thin, I’ve created a free resource for you: The 5-Minute Burnout Reset. It is not something else for you to add to your to-do list. Quite the opposite. It is simply a pause. It’s a gentle reset for your nervous system and your spirit. Ready to relax?
exhaling together
this week on the podcast
Success means very little if it costs you your peace.
This week on Space To Exhale: The Podcast, I am joined by my friend Lola Bakare—Founder of be/co, architect of the #ResponsibleMarketing movement, and author of Responsible Marketing—for a conversation about what it really means to build a life you don't have to recover from.
We'll talk about how boundaries, rest, joy, and self-love can help us redefine success on our own terms and create lives that feel just as good on the inside as they look on the outside.
If you're ready to redefine success without sacrificing yourself in the process, I'd love for you to join us. Together, we'll explore what sustainable success looks like when your wellbeing matters just as much as your ambition.
Join us live on Tuesday, June 16 at noon ET, or catch the replay on Spotify or YouTube.
soft life spotlight
a gentle invitation
one small ask
If Space To Exhale has supported you over the last year, I would be deeply grateful if you left a short review. Your words could help more overwhelmed, exhausted, and burned out people get the support they need. Even one or two sentences can make a difference. You can leave reviews on Amazon, or if that's not your thing, Goodreads and Barnes & Noble work great too. Thank you 🙏🏾
until next time…
Thank you for spending a few moments of your Sunday with me. This week, may you spend time with people who treat you tenderly; may you find spaces where you do not have to earn your belonging; may you remember that sometimes the deepest healing comes not from being alone, but from being deeply rooted in community.
Until next time, remember to make some time and space to exhale.
Sending love and light
Lisa 💚
Lisa Hurley
Author, Space To Exhale | Founder, The Great Exhale
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